finally my body starting to react. i was letting sun turning into moon, resting under the sun and working by the moonlight. we'd to roll it back, at least for college time only. and im losing my sense in english, just as i lost my french-mate.

today is my 1st annv of my son's birthday! he is born today actually, but cheating ages for a year sounds cool. o yeah, last year was when i did my theatre shows at Canada. it was a hit and i loved it, so i guess my son should loved it either, cheating birthyear i mean..

my son ( im not finished picking names for him) is like to be the center of attention, but he's getting nervous if someone realize bout it. yeah and he likes cheesecake so much, of course its because of me.. wait a minute, he is crying now. i'll be back after i sing him lullaby.. oh God, i pray to YOU, let him be anyone he want, dont let anyone force him to do what he doesnt like. Amen,




nah anak gw udah tidur, jadi udah aman buat ngmg indonesia sekarang. anak2 generasi berikutnya memiliki standar yg tinggi terhadap penguasaan bahasa, jadi mau gk mau deh yaah gitu dah.. oh no nyamuk2 are killing me, lemme lite up my cigar..

i missed my wife, so much. last thing i've heard about her is about the wound in her feet, an accident on the sea. as a mermaid, she can do better actually.. guess she's missing me too. HAH!
no way.

story bout Golden Boy-the fish and the cat is the best seller in my country! everyone've read it, and i didnt predict that. they just didnt know that its happened on me, they sure dont know..
the 2nd best seller is 'Brazil on Confusion', which is very amusing to guess the ending. Egna is a good writer, but no good in arguing.

my dad is trying to kill me coz im sleeping like, too much. the truth is, HE was the one did everything too much, for himself.. in the end, i let myself killed.

im a swimmer, natural fish trapped in a body of an else. but getting in the water is harder than anybody's thought, and i cant possibly do that easily.
my name is Puss, im a cat and fat. u'll see me at the edge of Kathmandu River, near the alleyway of the TV station. here's my story.

Puss: " I love u Goldyrock"
Gold: " No u cant, we'll never last than a year"
Puss: " Is it because im a cat, and you're a fish? But u're the most interesting fish i ever saw.."
Gold: " Then, how do we suppose to get married? In the water? Or on the ground?? You didnt get my point, Puss.. We cant survived the end, we're way different.."
Puss: " But,, do you love me?"
Gold: " Yes, but at a level that u cant even describe"

3years passed, and she still un-accepted my marriage proposal. but yes, she always there when needed. even when im engaged with Brew-the model cat, or when i got kicked-out from school.
suddenly i realizes..

Puss: " I love u Goldyrock"
Gold: "Again?? After all this time, and you still love me? For what? Its true that we'll happy, but until when? By the name of God, we cant be together."
Puss: " Should i aware of time? I wanna be with u, thats it. I dont care even i cant swim or i'll get beaten up by your Sharks mom, i dont care. Move away, i'll jump"
Gold: "..........."

Then i jump. Water is filling up my cat-skin, and my lungs are suprised of this new feeling.
Im dead, but i dont care. At least we're united, even for a second. Then i'll just have to wait her, Next Destination..

Do you ever hate yourself?
I do.

Perlukah kita untuk tau, atau ketidaktauan kita akan menyelamatkan semua?
..Pada malam hari mengendap2 membaca inbox di hp ayah anda, hanya untuk membuktikan bahwa dia selingkuh??
..Atau membuka friendster, ym, blog, diary pribadi pacar atau gebetan hanya untuk tau bahwa ternyata dia hanya menganggap kita sebagai pelarian??
..Pergi kerumah pacar karena ketiadaan kabar darinya, yg berakhir dengan shock melihat dia dgn yg lain.
..Dan lain2

Manusia diciptakan dapat berpikir, namun justru terlalu majunya otak manusia yg kadang2 menghancurkan dirinya.
Andaikan kita tidak suudzon dan macam2, tentu gk akan ada niat untuk stalking seperti itu.

Do you hate yourself more??
I do.